Love can Kill Too
by ishha
Summary: One- Shot. I just got this idea after watching a woman walk up her porch steps in the pouring rain. Rating is for Mention of Suicide
1. Chapter 1

I trudged up the front steps into my house, retrieved the key from the door's eve and let myself in quietly. Seth was lounging on the couch in the living room watching a game. "Hey Leah." He greeted me passively, concentrated on the TV. I grunted, not being in the mood to chat even if he was talking to me. I hurried to our tiny ancient kitchen and scoured the shelves. There better be a bottle in here, on this one fucking day, I'd better find some of my red fucking wine!

God damn you Jacob Black! Of all the days to pick, you had to pick the one-day that I ran out of red wine! DAMNIT! I slam one of the cabinets in our kitchen a bit to hard and it splinters in my hands. Fucking Damnit. Now I've got splinters in my hands, this day has just been _great!_

God, my mind can't stop flashing back to that moment he told me.

"_Leah…just listen, please." his fiery black eyes started at me morosely. Oh. No… "Jacob, I've heard those words before! How could you do this to me? How dare you even come here, and tell me that? What were you thinking Jacob! WHAT?!? His expression changed from just frustrated to outrage, tremors shook his body. " I am tired Leah, I can't fight it anymore! What more do you want from me? I TRIED! The imprint is just too hard to fight! I can't __**not**__ hurt you Leah, not when I love Renesmee more.,the imprint is just too strong. I broke all the promises that I made to you, and I know I'm no better than Sam, but,-" I cut him off here, I just couldn't listen to it anymore. With tears straining my voice, I interjected into his sentence. _

"_I'm pregnant Jacob. You were going to be a father." With that I turned around and ran off, only pausing to grab the locket around my neck that held a picture of Jacob and me and threw it over my shoulder. _

Anything good wilts and dies at my touch. If I were to get a hold of a bottle of red wine at the moment, the child that I am carrying at the moment could be harmed. And even with that in mind, I still would do it. My name truly fits me. Leah, meaning tired. I truly am, I am tired of trying, tired of finding love and having it stolen out of your hands, and I am tired of living.

I took a bottle of Red Wine and a handful of sleeping pills that night.

_Leah Clearwater_

_August 22, 1987- June 23, 2008_

_Loving Daughter, Sister, and Friend._

_May she finally find peace._

"_The moment you give your love to someone, you give them the power to break you."_


	2. Jacob's POV dedicated to AllieBlack16

The glimmering ring in my hand taunts me with its empty promises. This is –- was going to belong to her.

Rains been pouring down for the past hour or so, but I don't think about it much. It's a light punishment for what I'm about to do.

I had always told myself in the six years that I've been fighting for her, that I'd never become like Sam. The conviction was long gone from my voice now every time I said it. I couldn't continue pretending to the both of us that everything was okay, that our world was perfect. Because it really wasn't, who am I to give Leah the hope that one day, we would have a future together? I can't bear to string out this for her. Everyday I wait taunts me, tells me that I could be holding another in my arms if I just told her now. The old me would have been disgusted, now, I can't work up any feeling past defeat. I've given up.

I've given up on Leah.

* * *

Her scent's become stronger now, in the rain. I can hear her light footsteps come closer as I quickly drop the ring into my pocket.

Her hatred filled eyes bore into mine as I pleaded with her to listen to me. I deserved the hate. I deserved everything she threw at me. "Leah… just listen, please!" my voice is filled with the mounting anger I'm holding at myself. How could I be doing this to her? Her expression shifts to pure, unrestrained loathing.

"I've heard those words before Jacob." Her head bows as her body tremors slightly, raising her head till her chin is up in the air, she bellows in a strong and clear voice. "Why didn't you tell me this earlier? Did you lack the decency to have spared me the news before I fell in love with you? Did all those times that you said you loved me meaningless? All those years, are they nothing to you? Did you ever actually try to fight for me?" Her eyes are trained on me, intent on hearing my answer.

My frame convulses as I try to not hurt myself right there. I've almost done it, almost said all the words necessary to drive her away. To drive the woman my world once revolved around away from me.

I grit my teeth and spit out.

"I'm tired Leah, I can't fight it anymore! What more do you want from me? I TRIED! The imprint is just too hard to fight! I can't not hurt you Leah, not when I love Renesmee more, the imprint is just too strong. I broke all the promises that I made to you, and I know I'm no better than Sam, but,-"

She breaks into my sentence, and for a moment, her fierce expression of fortitude cracks, and reveals the vulnerability beneath. In a quiet voice she whispers at me brokenly, "_I'm pregnant Jacob. You were going to be a father." _The slow _thud, thud _of my heart resonates loudly in my ears as tears begin to pour down her rain streaked face. Immediately she begins to run, she makes a quick movement with her arms and something silver lands in front of me.

"_You were going to be a father." _

Automatically I pick it up. It was the locket I gave her on the day I first told her I loved her.

A wave of regret quickly crashes down on me as I begin to run after her. She's pregnant with my child. My child. How could I have done this? Maybe I could catch up to her again. I suck in a deep breath as I prepare to yell her name. Maybe I could - the image of her eyes filled with the burning hatred stops the yell in my throat. She wouldn't want me anymore. I come to a full stop as I hear her transform and a loud howl breaks through the rain's pour.

Leah wouldn't want me anymore.

She' given up on me too.

* * *

This chapter was for AllieBlack16 who requested this from me a while back, but me and my forgetful self forgot about it in a few hours and never got around to making it! So Allie, this is for you!

P.S. This would have been out sooner, but my Word Processor died in the middle of the first version, so I had to start over from scratch. (which I hate doing :P)

Anyways, read and review!

-Anastasia


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